Dinah Lance for President (Canary Vs Bat)
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: Political hilarity ensues as Black Canary and Batman engage in an all out race for the winning spot, and the Canary gets help from a VERY familiar figure who knows how to get 'a head' with politics. Who will win, and who will fall? Read this hilarious story and find out!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Justice League, but I really, REALLY wish I did! I was feeling very bored and this idea came up in my head. Hopefully, this'll get a load of laughs out of my devoted fans! Enjoy!**

**Dinah Lance for President (or Canary Vs. Bat if you'd prefer)**

It was a lazy Wednesday afternoon as three exhausted Justice Leaguers were strewn on the sofa watching a rerun of Family Feud.

"Oy, I'm bored. I think parts of my energy oozed out." Lois murmured, her eyes nearly closing as a bit of drool formed on the sofa pillow.

"Hah! You aren't the **only** one who's experiencing cabin fever around here. Look at me for example; Kory and Dick have been borrowing my spare apartment for months and the only place that's available for me is the bathroom!" Green Arrow snapped, a hint of his wise-cracking mannerisms in his voice as he placed a ice bag on his head.

"Ugh; this is so dull. We've been reduced to meager couch potatoes. Gad, if only there were **something** exciting to happen around here." Power Girl called out, as only the humming of the air vent and the noise of the TV were visible.

"Gee, **that** felt good. Wow; I've never felt so energetic in days." Green Arrow quipped sarcastically. Lois smacked him with her pillow.

"Thanks. I needed that." Green Arrow smirked. "You mean just to try to do something funny?" Power Girl asked quizzically. "No. To ease my headache. It's been numbing for days." Green Arrow replied, the three simultaneously sighing in boredom before all of a sudden, the Hail to the Chief theme blared over the intercoms.

"AAAA! We're under attack! Man the defenses!" Flash hollered wildly, diving under the velvet couch as a massive float entered the living room. Lois could easily tell just **who** came up with such a crazy idea.

"Dinah, what are you doing? Don't you know the next April Fools' prank isn't until next year?" Green Arrow asked as Dinah handed him a ballot. "Hmm, wonder what it is?" Power Girl thought, only to gasp in awe at what she saw.

"Dinah… You're running for **president?**" Lois gasped in shock. "WHAT?" everyone shouted, as the entire League staff was crowded around the Canary.

"I don't know, I guess I was thinking to myself; what could I do to spread my integrity and beauty around the world we live in to help out the cause? Well, I eventually decided that running for president is the best solution." Dinah explained, a daydreaming look on her face as she saw her face added to Mount Rushmore.

"Dinah, forgive me if I'm being gruff, but…" Batman started before grasping Dinah's shoulders and squawking "Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?" "Geez, next time say it don't spray it, Bats." Dinah commented, wiping off spit from her dress.

"Dinah, you don't know anything about politics!" Roy added, Dinah snorting in reply. "Sure I do. My great-grandfather was president in the 1800s. And believe me, politics do run in the Lance bloodline! And who better than me to keep it flowing?" Dinah boasted, puffing her chest.

"That wasn't what I had in mind, but… eh, what the heck." Roy shrugged, waving his hands in the air in disgust. "Um, excuse me but before you go any further into your crazed President Lance dream again, you'll need a campaign manager for the election." Huntress explained, Batman smirking. "Only a real dummy would be gullible for **that**." Green Arrow snapped only to eat that sentence as Mera appeared in a voting senate dress.

"Did someone say manager? I have placed many Atlantean senators under my belt." Mera replied, Dinah beaming in joy as the two embraced giddily.

"You had to open that large mouth of yours, didn't you?" Hawkman snorted before finally exhaling "Ok Dinah, we'll help with your election." Batman nearly fainted in shock when Superman started forming a vote poster on the Watchtower computer.

"Don't listen to old grumpy pants over there. Booster and I can whip up some real juicy ideas to help your polls!" Skeets piped up as Dinah started ironing her campaign dress. "Thanks Skeets. Oh, this is so exciting. If I win, the expression on Batman's face will be **priceless!**" Dinah giggled before her eyes widened at the horror before her.

"Meet your competition, birdie." Batman boasted, appearing in **his** presidential suit. Dinah was more concerned by seeing Two-Face of all people, standing next to him. "What's the idea of bringing Mr. Gruesome Twosome in here?" Power Girl wondered, as she was drying her hair.

"I heard that Bats here was planning on running for President, so I pitched my stake in." Two-Face growled, flipping his trademark two-headed coin, only for it to land on heads, **again**. "Damn it! I should have this thing examined."

"So, you're planning to run against me for the seat of the White House?" Dinah teased gently, the Dark Knight fondly smirking. "We'll see who's the best candidate." "And remember; at the results, no hard feelings." Huntress warned, the two campaign rivals shaking hands fairly.

"So be it." Batman grunted, adding "May the best one win" as a mischievous smile formed on Dinah's face. "Oh that reminds me… Meet my campaign adviser…" Dinah boasted, whistling out the back hallway. A whinnying noise rang out, then who showed up but the Headless Horseman himself.

"You… you hired him?!" Two-Face spat, mortified. The Horseman dismounted from his steed. "Well, it took me some time but I booked some spots for your voting speeches" Headless grunted, tinkering with his beeper.

"So for your campaigning staff it's Mera, Huntress, Hawkman, Hippolyta, Aquaman, Hawkgirl, Nocturna, Poison Ivy, Lady Blackhawk, Supergirl, Lois, Lana and Wildcat, and finally this headless dude? You've got to be joking me!" Robin guffawed only to shrink back as the Horseman's steed growled at him, with Hippolyta herself watching from afar. "Great Hera help us all…" Hippolyta muttered before doing an about face, silently giggling to herself, whilst mentally thinking _Batman doesn't even know I have more than a few tricks up my sleeve to turn the odds of my precious little Dinah winning in __**her**__ favor. And as always, mother knows best._

**The race for the presidency is on! Will Black Canary win and get the chance of making her lifelong dreams of changing the world a reality? Will Batman ever lighten up and maybe aid Dinah? And will Robin ever quit being such a boot licker? And what plans does our headless hero have in store for Dinah's campaign? Stay posted for Part 2, same Bat-time, and same Bat-fiction!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dinah Lance for President Part 2**

The Watchtower was in a hurried state of frenzy as everyone was hard at work for Dinah's presidential campaign, and all the campaign staff was under the ever-watchful eye of her campaign spokesman, the Headless Horseman.

"I still can't believe Dinah hired that creepy horseman as her spokesman." Roy moaned, as he was painting a picket sign for the voting ballot signs. "Roy, if I were you, I wouldn't say that in front of him. You know what he did to Joker…" Mera warned, hoping the naïve archer wouldn't cause the headless wanderer to add Roy to his list of victims, when sure enough the Horseman himself loomed over the two.

"How's everything looking so far? We have to be in Central City for the debate in five minutes, so keep up the good work!" the Horseman ordered before heading off into the main corridor. "Gosh, that guy is such a gentleman. He even bought me a Hessian dress." Lois commented, Superman gasping in horror.

"What?" Roy squawked, amazed. "Lois, I'm sure there's a logical reason for this, but there's no need to be decisive…" J'onn started before Lois clamped her hand over his mouth "Just think; I could be a Hessian aristocrat! I'm sure the people there have read all of my columns." Lois boasted, getting that dazed, girlish fantasy look in her eyes.

"Oh great. Now Lance's manager has plagued Ms. Lane here with Cupid's love aroma! What else can be more ridiculous?" Green Arrow snapped before his eyes popped wide at seeing **Huntress** in a female Uncle Sam outfit, minus the beard.

"How do I look? This snazzy outfit will sweep the press off their feet!" Huntress remarked, striking a model like pose as Wally eagerly tried to touch her, only to be held back by a struggling John, Hal, Kyle and Shayera.

"So Helena, how's our soon to be President handling things so far?" Hal asked as Helena was applying lipstick, commenting, "So far it's going good. Apart from printing off dozens of her campaign posters, rehearsing her speeches in her sleep, also signing a sponsorship contract from Budweiser; then I'd say we're close to whipping Batman's opposing butt!"

"Uh, apart from that, we have a debate in Central City tonight. The Horseman wants us there **immediately**." Diana reminded the two, signaling them to hold their chat for now and get to the Teleporter. And so they did.

In Central City…

"Ladies and gentlemen, the 2014 Presidential Debate between Neo-Republican nominee Bruce Wayne and Neo-Democratic nominee Dinah Alexandria Lance is now in session. Please be reminded that absolutely positively **no sexual or derogatory innuendos are to be asked in the debate**. Thank you" the Horseman finished, giving a 'that means you' glare at Beast Boy, who immediately hid a Playboy magazine behind him. "Give me **that!**" the Horseman snarled, swiping the magazine before heading to the voting section.

"The item you requested, Your Highness" the Horseman spoke, handing Hippolyta the magazine. "Many thanks, Horseman. Now I can get a glimpse at how my lovely nieces are doing at the swimsuit competition!" Hippolyta giddily commented, earning a few embarrassed stares from the people in the section.

"Was that **really** necessary, Mother? I just ate like five minutes ago!" an Amazon commented, holding her stomach in disgust.

"Mr. Wayne, what is your view on allowing a new community center for vegetarians and ecologists?" Poison Ivy asked, wearing an ivory-sewn dress skirt that looked rather attractive. "Well Ms. Isley, given the fact that in our country, we are gracious in accepting people dedicated to preserving plant wildlife and…" Bruce started, only to be cut off by a loud banging from the gong.

"Guess I should've left my good earrings back at the tower." Giganta muttered, removing her jade earrings. "Forgive me Mr. Wayne, but even though that was a very prominent answer, Ms. Lance is now open for questions" the Horseman explained

"Yes, Miss Lance, how would you handle the efforts of preventing terrorist attacks in our city?" Jack Ryder piped up, a sweaty look forming on Dinah's face. "Hippolyta?" Helena asked, hoping the Amazon queen would do something to aid her daughter.

"Dinah, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Hippolyta asked, as she comforted Dinah in her arms as she sobbed. "I cant do it. It's way bigger than I ever realized." Dinah sobbed, Hippolyta shushing her soothingly, rubbing her gentle hand across her lovely blonde hair.

"Dinah, from the moment you were a baby girl, I **knew** that you were meant to change our lives. You do have what it takes, you just have to put all those fears and bad feelings aside, so that way there'll be **nothing** that can break you down." Hippolyta explained, a warm, joyful smile beaming on Dinah's face. "There we go, there's my big girl." Hippolyta smiled, giving her daughter a hug.

"I love you Mommy." Dinah whispered sweetly. "I love you as well, my daughter." Hippolyta commented, kissing her forehead "Now go on, make your mother proud." Hippolyta gently commented, as Dinah then reproached the podium. "Ms. Lance, if there was ever anything that mattered to you most in this country, what would you stand for in making new changes?" a reporter asked, the crowd on the edge of their seats, Hippolyta silently nodding. "I would… I would build a much stronger nation than ever before, one fit for humans and metahumans alike!" Dinah boasted, the crowds applauding wildly.

"What did you do?" Helena asked, as Hippolyta watched proudly. "I gave her some encouragement." Hippolyta replied slyly, the Horseman grinning in approval. "I see a nation where new heroes are welcomed with open arms and **not** turned away or rejected by the community! I see a nation where threats of invasions and war are a thing from the past! And why is that? Because our enemies have a right to know that as long as the world keeps spinning it is this: Heroes. **Never**. Die." Dinah vowed, applause echoing through the skies. This pleased even Bruce. The citizens were chanting "Dinah, Dinah!" over and over.

Later that evening…

"Wow! Man, in all my years of politics and speeches, that was the most **amazing** speech I had ever heard!" Dick commented in wonder, as the League was gathered at the local diner. "Thanks. It felt very… rewarding for Bruce to hand me the popularity votes." Dinah replied, feeling very accomplished as Hippolyta lovingly placed her arm around Dinah's neck.

"Just think of it: the first **female** president of our country! This is truly a joyous event for us all!" Diana exclaimed, the others agreeing. "You said it, Di. And all my training and hard work really paid off!" the Horseman agreed, all raising their glasses to Dinah, knowing that this would be an event that **nobody** would ever forget.

"Hey there Ms. Hotshot, what are you up to?" Hippolyta asked sweetly, as an energetic Dinah was finishing viewing her polls on her laptop. "Checking my status. Looks like I'm guaranteed to win!" Dinah replied, Hippolyta beaming proudly "I am so happy for you sweetie… but right now, its past your bedtime."

"Yeah, you're right. Tomorrow morning they'll make the announcement…" Dinah yawned sleepily as Hippolyta tucked her into bed, kissing her daughter. "Mm-hmm. I love you, sweetheart." Hippolyta cooed, hugging Dinah before kissing her goodnight as she closed her eyes and began to snore. "Dream sweetly, my beautiful daughter. I'll see you in the morning…" Hippolyta whispered, kissing Dinah's forehead as she tiptoed out of her room. A few seconds later, Helena came in and couldn't help but smile as she saw Dinah, fast asleep in bed. Huntress gently walked over and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Dream on little angel, dream on." Huntress whispered getting under the covers, as Hippolyta watched lovingly. "Goodnight my children let the Goddesses bless you as you sleep tonight." Hippolyta whispered, walking off.

The next morning…

"Dinah! Dinah! Wake up!" Zatanna repeated excitedly, shaking Dinah's shoulder as the lovely lady opened her eyes and yawned. "what is it?" Dinah sleepily asked, before seeing the headline on the newspaper that proclaimed 'DINAH LANCE **NEW PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES**'. Both girls screamed with joy, embracing each other.

"SURPRISE!" the Leaguers announced, a large ensemble banquet formed in the central café. Dinah was beaming tears of happiness as everyone congratulated her on her biggest victory yet.

"Dinah, from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were born for this. You did real swell, kiddo." Wildcat commented, Dinah blushing proudly. "Thank you Uncle Ted"

"Bless you for the goodness that dwells within you, Dinah! My plants are singing songs of joy on this event!" Ivy commented, Dinah embracing her gently. "Thanks Pam, you're the best." After receiving comments from everyone else, she was then embraced by Hippolyta.

"I am so proud of you! You have truly blessed our family!" Hippolyta proclaimed, the Amazons smiling brightly whilst the Horseman watched from afar.

"But before we start the festivities, there's someone else I'd like to dedicate this event to…" Dinah announced, the spotlight on the Horseman. "I'd like to thank this man here for his loyalty, his dedication to helping me achieve my dreams, his unstoppable energy of hard work, his compassion and that he believes that there truly is a future for all of us. So, in honor of winning my election, I'd like to nominate as Vice President; Mr. Abraham Van Brunt, or better yet… the Headless Horseman." Dinah finished, wild applause resounding as both shook hands

"That's his real name? Abraham?" Green Arrow asked, amazed by the fact. "It's kind of a **long** story." Mera commented, not wanting to go forward into detail. "I'm really proud of her Bruce." Harvey commented, as he and Batman watched Dinah on the podium. "She has her spirit, just like her mother." Batman replied, showing gratitude and respect for the Canary… the first **female** president of the USA.


End file.
